In the post Disidentification with form – Part I I’ve pointed out a fundamental question (that I’m still inquiring) how do we teach out kids to draw their self worth from themselves and not from the world around them, how do we teach them to separate themselves from the results of their action.
Eckhart Tolle offers this idea in regarding to grown ups and doesn’t answer, or at least I haven’t found a guidance in his teachings yet, on how to balance between this helping your kid realizing this fundamental truth on the one hand and keeping him well grounded on the other.
On the path of finding the right balance, I’ve encounter the following video by Prof Carol Dweck (whom I’ve presented in the post Growth mindset and your child’s future).
Carol Dweck: The Effect of Praise on Mindsets
In this lecture, Prof Dweck speaks about praising; pointing out that a parent should praise the action and the actor (the kid).
The way I Interpret Dweck’s idea, a parent will be planting a seed of separation between the ‘I’ and the manifestation of the ‘I’, i.e. thoughts, feelings, actions, reality etc.