The only way a person, whether a grownup or a kid, will adapt an idea or a concept is by choosing to do so, he can’t be forced to it.
You can very much furl your brows thinking “Well, that’s obvious…” indeed it is. Yet through the many years I’ve been working with people I learnt that we all tend to forget this fundamental truth when engaged in the act of educating.
Think about the last time you’ve tried to convince your kid to adapt a value, a perception or a belief. Where you giving a speech or were you listening to his side of the story – how he sees the very thing you’re trying to convince him to adapt?
Most people, and if you’re honest so do you, will answer that they give a speech. Why? Well, because we care so much and because we are (sad fact) older than our kids we tend to impose our point of view on them – we’re being paternalistic.
As I wrote in my opening line, the door of change is locked from within. If our kid chooses, metaphorically speaking, not to open the door and allow a new idea get in, it won’t.
Think about that the next time you’re about to give the speech. Knock on the door and allow it to open by recognizing that your kid has the right to choose what he lets in or not. Recognize that only by acknowledging that, can you enrich him with your life experience and skills.